A Hard Look at Teufort
by TF2 Lovers Xjw
Summary: It's TF2 porn; Don't like, don't read. Also generally gay, but sometimes hard to tell (lol), and there's some pretty weird leech monster shit in chapters 2 and 3. *fingerguns* P.S. There's a non-porn story in there that I thought was super cute, so check chapter 4 for that. Also, I am heavily influenced by reviews, so if you want something, say so! Thanks, all.
1. A Soldier's Shower (Soldier x Pyro)

It was the end of another normal battle. Soldier was proud. Every crocket, every shotgun blast, every wildy-swung shovel, made Soldier a very proud militant. Pyro was looking pretty proud too. Soldier grinned. "I guess we have something in common; a burning hate for filthy BLUs, and a burning love for the art of war." A relatively affirmative muffle was Pyro's reply. Soldier heard something. Pitter-pattering footsteps were a trademark call. Soldier whipped around and shot a fleeing Scout in the arm. Scout doubled over in pain and ran into the ground. Soldier stood over him, but it was Pyro who delivered a clean killing blow by fireaxe. Soldier chuckled. "If you two are done, I believe that's the last of them" Spy practically sighed. "Alright, dearie. What's gotten you all worked down?" Soldier asked with an enormous grin. "A good battle is cause to celebrate!" Spy looked Soldier in the eye. "A bit of levity is appreciated, but I'm not so boisterous a person as you are."

The base was quieter than usual. Scout was whittling the beginnings of a bat and chuckling, Sniper was practicing his shooting on the resident wildlife, Pyro was observing a flaming stick, Medic was watching Pyro watch the flaming stick, and Soldier was sharing a pint with Demo. Eventually, Soldier had the pint that he decided would be his last, and went down to his "bunks". Before climbing in, Soldier was struck by an odd thought. He smelled awful. "Well, if I don't want Lieutenant Bites chewing on my bones by morning, I should probably wash."

Soldier went whistling to the showers. They weren't communal, it was just expected that people make their showers snappy. "Hm. Snappiest shower in the world, coming up", Soldier said with a confident tone. He undressed, and stepped into the Pyro. "Hm?" Soldier's gaze snapped upwards from the floor into the Pyro's acryllic eyes. "Did I interrupt your shower?" Soldier asked, still naked. Pyro shook his head. "Well, maybe you didn't take yours yet?" Pyro inclined his to the side, and gestured to the shower with a "mphh". "Well, thank you, but you really can go first." Pyro gestured again to the shower, murfling louder. "Well, I won't take the shower first, but I guess I'll let you go.." SOldier had to stop and think of a comprimise. "At the same time!" Pyro thought about it, and then nodded. "Well, let's go then!" Soldier grinned.

Once in the shower, Soldier was busy scrubbing the top of his helmet, and noticed Pyro was still wearing his suit. "Heh, you really never take that thing off, do you?" Pyro laughed. "Well I never take my helmet off either, so we have something in common there." Soldier laughed along. Pyro was washing himself, but watching Soldier. Soldier felt complimented. "Hey, you don't really get to see these much during battle, do you?" Pyro quickly looked away. "Aw, no need to stop, I don't mind!" Pyro slowly looked back towards Soldier's not-unimpressive pectorals. Soldier very much appreciated the attention, and made sure to give Pyro a good view of his muscles as he cleaned. Eventually, Soldier felt Pyro's hands on his back. "Hey, I don't mind," Soldier laughed. As Soldier washed, Pyro's hands went all up and around Soldier's body. A rub here, a stroke there, Pyro made sure to admire every bit of Soldier's built body without letting any one part go unnoticed. Soldier was done washing, but he at least knew where this could be going, and he liked it. His hands went towards Pyro's face, and bought his rubber-clothed head towards his.

Pyro went down with renewed purpose, and the filter on his nose came off. Before Soldier knew it, his cock was being worshipped like it had never been before. Soldier dared to look downward, and found that Pyro was trailing the frontal tube of his mask up and down Soldier's magnificent phallus. One couldn't see anything, in between the mask and the tube on it, but Soldier was liking it, and made sure Pyro knew by easing Pyro's head further down the cock. Pyro started going faster, and it felt wonderful. His mouth was shaped like a goddess's own, and his tongue worked to enhance the experience that much more. Soldier couldn't resist doing his part, and continued pushing Pyro's head up and down the shaft. Soldier came into Pyro's throat, and Pyro could feel the warmth gushing into his mouth. Soldier's cum was a thick flow of savory tang, and Pyro's continued sucking proved that he wanted more. Luckily, Soldier's incredible stamina obliged, and they both enjoyed the next half hour quite a bit.

Soldier emerged from the shower, cleanest he'd been since Miss Pauling's last mandated shower. "Well, you fight like a war god, and blow like a sex goddess." Pyro didn't reply, and instead gave Soldier a long, close hug. Soldier hugged Pyro back. "If you really feel that way, then I don't think being war partners cuts it for me anymore, either".


	2. The Pyro wasn't Right (Pyro x Scout)

WARNING: Weird shit, teratophilia, leech eating, some mind control(?), oh boy. Proceed with caution.

Scout woke up. He wasn't sure where he was, but it was soft, if a little cold. He looked around, but, to his dismay, he couldn't see much, as the only lighting was a dim lightbulb hanging by a wire. "Fuck", he decided would be his first word upon waking. He realized he was on a cool, grey bed. No bed Scout had seen before; or maybe he had. Wait. He couldn't move. He couldn't move a muscle. Why? He wasn't cuffed, or bound, or pinned by anything to be seen. "My muscles! I can't move my arms!" Scout cried out into the otherwise empty room.

Scout heard something. "Hey, I dunno who's out there, but I need a bit of help here." Footsteps.

"Oh good," Scout thought, "I'm not just cryin into nothin like an idiot." The footsteps stop, and then quicken again. "Oh, I'm also kinda hungry, if that's important," Scout called out. The white, age-bleached door opens. The Pyro, with unsettling gait, walks in. "Oh, I never thought I'd be so glad to see a bit of muffles walking in! Quick, help me up!" The Pyro inclined its head, and grabbed Scout's face. "Okay, glad to see you too, but you're pushing me the wrong way here.." Pyro, without waiting a moment, reached down its collar, and pulled its mask upwards.

The seam, like a slit and opening throat, was revealed full of writhing, black worms, or perhaps leeches. The Pyro's eyes glinted in the pale light, and Scout was forced into the slit. He shouted into the mass, but couldn't stop himself from kissing the opening passionately.

His mouth forced itself open, and his tongue placed itself among the leeches, licking, as if trying to taste everything he could of Pyro's open throat. Scout couldn't know why he was doing this, or why he couldn't stop, or why they tasted better than anything the world could offer.

The Pyro, for its part, took off a right glove, and embraced Scout while falling towards the bed. It kicked off its boots, and removed Scout's pants with its knees. Scout could hardly keep himself from gagging, or from slurping, as leeches started crawling into his mouth, and down his throat. They tasted like dirt and salty mucus, and Scout found that he was certainly no longer hungry, though he couldn't be sure that it wasn't an effect of having eaten something so disgusting, rather than something so filling.

After he had eaten several mouthfuls, Pyro got up from the bed.

Scout could only now see what its hands and feet looked like; skin dry, gnarled, and brown, as if made of wood and bark, leeches in every hole and sleeve that could be found. Its feet were long and hooved, with no toes to speak of but the two parts of the hoof, cloven apart.

Its head was now only halfway on, partially torn off from the front, but the neck still a font of seemingly endless leeches. The Pyro grunted in a guttural tone, startling Scout from his still gaze over the creature. Scout then took off the rest of his pants and turned left to face the Pyro. Scout spread his legs open wide for the beast, and spoke, mechanically, like it was rehearsed. "Thank you for what you have given me. Please make me yours."

Needing no further permission, the Pyro unzipped a hole near its crotch, and opened it so as to barely hold back a slithering swarm of black worms. Scout tried to cry, but couldn't. He tried to resist, but couldn't. He opened his mouth, and lowered his legs to allow to Pyro to climb on. Pyro, as if rewarding Scout for his obedience, ushered Scout's penis into the black mess. It felt cold. So very cold, like the Pyro had been out in the snow moments before.

The Pyro started moving, now riding Scout reverse-cowgirl on the side of the bed.

The leeches, now warmed by Scout's growing phallus, slithered faster, stimulating Scout more than he had ever been. Their collected mucus acted as lube as Scout allowed himself to be ridden by this inhuman. Pyro leaned down, its arms underneath Scout's head and armpits, caressing him, feeding him from its opened throat like a mother. Its neck opened wider, and Scout kissed and drank from it once more.

The Pyro continued sliding itself up and down Scout's dick, faster, and faster, but Scout couldn't. He couldn't cum, and it was starting to hurt. Pyro moved faster and faster, until it reached a fever pitch, and spilled yellowish, thick, viscous fluid all over Scout's balls and thighs, chilling them, but stimulating him nonetheless. It shuddered and uttered what sounded like a sigh, before relaxing.

Pyro motioned Scout up, an act which Scout quickly made, and Scout swiftly grabbed the Pyro, not knowing why, and pushed it onto the bed.

Scout thrust his cock into the Pyro's lower regions, pinning it down by the wrists. It wailed softly, despite how rough Scout was being. Scout's penis was getting sore, and his chastity was becoming very uncomfortable.

Every time he thrust, now, it let up a faint "Fuh," or a "Hurh", pleasured by his efforts.

Scout kept fucking the strange, hideous being against the bed, its offputting moans egging him on. The thing moaned a sound which turned into a shriek, shuddered, and came again, letting its thick, yellowed syrup to spill all down Scout's legs.

From a short distance, he could make out black specks in the substance, though the white tones made it hard to see. His erection grew even larger, and Scout cried out in pain.

Seemingly encouraged, the Pyro turned itself around, lay on its back, and rubbed itself while sucking Scout's member, lying down on the bed. Its face flopped, useless, over the edge of the bed, now only a bowl to catch the leeches pouring over Scout's dick.

Scout watched as his cock was sucked and rubbed on from all different angles, by this hideous manner of creature. Scout was unable to move and unable to come, watching as the Pyro fit almost its entire hand into its crotch. It moaned louder, an unearthly, yet still somehow appealing sound, echoing up from Scout's manhood.

The Pyro rubbed itself faster. It was thrusting its hips into its knotted, callous hand, yearning to thrust it deeper in. It sucked more, and rubbed itself faster, leeches flling out of the hole. It let out a long "Hahh" sound, and spilled its thick mucus and fluids all over the bed. Scout could smell all of it. It was strong, and intoxicatingly sweet. He was unsure if he wanted any of it, but his member swelled even harder just at its inviting musk.

The Pyro got up, revealing an exceptionally large and strong worm which had secured itself about the base of Scout's dick. Scout, now with only his shirt on, placed his mouth towards the Pyro's lower hole against his will, unable to scream, or to cry, or to cum, or to stop himself from being the Pyro's own leech-loving slut.

Pyro grabbed Scout, turned him over so it was on top, turned 180 degrees, and placed its lower slit over Scout's mouth.

Pyro looked over its shoulder towards Scout, and a longer, blacker worm, like a tongue, flicked itself about menacingly. It licked Scout's thighs, and then went inside of him. It tickled his prostrate in all the right ways, and the throat had now placed itself over Scout's dick.

Its neck's opening slurped at Scout's red, swollen cock, seeming to beckon the climax that wouldn't come. Scout dove into its lower mass of black worms, licking, and sucking, and slurping as well as he could. The tongue moved in and out of Scout's ass, and the neck carressed Scout's cock like he knew shouldn't have been possible.

The Pyro came again in Scout's mouth, and Scout kept in in his mouth. The Pyro got up, allowimg its tongue to lie haphazardly over the edge of its collar. It looked at Scout's face, still covered in its emissions, and mouth still full. Pyro pulled the mask back on, and yanked the frontal tube off of it. It kissed Scout through its imitation of a mouth, sharing its cum between them.

Pyro's long tongue snaked its way into the back of Scout's mouth, triggering his gag reflex, and Scout spat the Pyro's cum into its face. The Pyro, as if admonishing him, gripped Scout by his neck, lifted him half a foot off of the ground, and forced the cum back into Scout's mouth, making him feel sick. Cum, spit, and mucus dripped down Scout's chin. He swallowed what part of it had made it into his mouth. The Pyro wasn't done with his punishment yet, though.

Pyro reached into its opened false cunt, and pulled out a long, wooded thing. It was attached to the Pyro somewhere in there, but it was previously buried by all the leeches. It lay down on Scout's bed, legs spread in a confident pose. Scout pulled his head between its legs, and licked upwards, from its base, to its tip 10 inches higher. Scout tried to suck it, but it was too long, and he couldn't even get half of his mouth over it.

The Pyro pulled Scout's head down the somewhat curved wooden pole, sending the dick down his throat. His gag reflex went again, spasming on the long shaft, but the rest of Scout's body was heedless. The Pyro pulled Scout's head down, and Scout's nose was buried into the leech hole that Pyro's shaft had originally come out of. Scout licked wildy as Pyro pulled his head up and down the shaft, choking on it with every breath he took.

Pyro turned onto its side, now spooning Scout's head on the cum and mucus soaked bed. The smell was strong enough to induce a state of euphoria. It lifted its legs to Scout's throbbing member, and stroked it with the two hooved feet. It was startlingly good at it, or perhaps Scout's dick was now yearning for any touch it could get.

Scout gagged again as Pyro grabbed his head, and forced it to the base of its wood, dumping its semen down Scout's throat. It got into his mouth, and Scout already wanted more. However, the Pyro already had other plans.

Pyro picked up Scout, and placed him on the seemingly wooden member, faced towards Pyro. Scout breathed heavily as he was bounced up and down the much longer dick. Despite all the stimulation, the leech strangling Scout's dick made sure he couldn't come, however much he wanted to.

Pyro flicked out its tongue again, and Scout made out with the Pyro's tongue as he bounced up and down the creature's dick. The thing came inside his ass, and left Scout dripping and sore, and wanting to come very badly. As Scout continued to kiss the Pyro's tongue, its penis shrank back into its dripping leech-pussy, leaving them kissing while Scout sat on is lap.

Scout quit sucking on the tongue for a moment, and found himself whimpering. "Please.." As if in slow motion, the Pyro inclined its head downward to face Scout, without moving its shoulders.

"Please what?" It seemed to ask. "What do you want, more than anything, right now?"

Scout mumbled. The leech's death grip on his phallus tightened.

"I want.." Scout wasn't sure if he was saying this himself. He was less sure that it mattered. "Please make me cum."

The Pyro wanted more. "What do you want from me?" Scout asked it, but he already knew. Pyro looked into Scout's eyes. "I'll-"

The Pyro's eyes glinted like those of a hungry lioness. "Okay! I'll stay here. With you. Just let me, I will!"

Pyro's worm left Scout's dick, and before he knew it, he had slid down its body and was eating out the Pyro. On his own, this time. He could taste it in full, earthy aroma and salty taste. He relished it, and he knew he was free to do it forever now, as long as he lived. This was what he wanted.

The Pyro pulled the mask off once more, and got into position to suck Scout's dick, while he ate out its lower hole. Its neck slid over Scout's dick, and the tongue, now coming right out of the neck itself, made its way further up Scout's ass than ever before. He felt something entering him. He felt things being spewed into his ass, through the tongue, filling him entirely. They squirmed inside of him, and it was ecstasy. He came into Pyro's neck, and every last bit was slurped up. He came again, harder. He loved every moment, and couldn't let it stop.

Scout felt everything at once. The Pyro's slit over his mouth and tongue, its throat moving around his cock, its tongue, feeding so many worms into his ass and his stomach. The Pyro twitched and shuddered violently in orgasm, spilling its thick cum into Scout's mouth even as it sucked his dick.

Scout drank as much as he could of its yellowed wine, drowning himself in it. He ate as many leeches as he could out of the Pyro's opening, and gorged himself on its insides. They both came again, savoring one another's tastes, and then Pyro got closer to Scout and they held one another, faces inches apart.

Scout eased himself into the Pyro's unzipped hole, and sucked its black tongue into his mouth. He drank its saliva, sweet like its cum, and thrust his mouth deeper into the neck. Freedom felt good, as Scout ground his dick into the hole, down to the base, and slid it almost all the way out, only to do it again. The Pyro carressed him, tending to his desires. It held him close, and Scout knew where he wanted to be.

Scout looked into Pyro's eyes. Pyro hugged him tighter. After resting a moment on the soaked bed, Scout got up and stretched.

"I'm stayin. As long as I live, I will love you- and definitely make love to you. Ya hear me? I won't leave you, I don't even care what else!"


	3. In Which Scout is a Pyro (Scout x Medic)

Scout was bored as hell. Naturally, the first thing he decided to do was bother the eggheads of the team. "Heya doc, watcha working on there?" Scout asked in a suave tone, casually interrupting the clearly delicate process of fraying the base of a brain stem, without harming the brain. "Ah, hello. I am vorking on a collaborative effort vis Engineer. Ask him about ze details." Scout ignored him, and started poking around in medicine cabinets.  
Medic got up abruptly. "Don't poke around in zhere, not even I open in zhose cabinets!" Scout shrugged at him, and asked, "You got any reasons not to?" Medic thought about whether he meant not to poke around, or why he didn't look in them. Before Medic could come up with a response, Scout was at it again. "Hey, whaddya think's in this needle?"  
Medic groaned, and tried to warn Scout, "Don't shoot up, it could have blood-transmitted diseases." Scout laughed. "Pff, you thought I was sticking that thing in me? It's probably full of old dead germs and gross shit. Hey, ten bucks says I put it in someone's drink. Eleven, and you choose who. Not me though, I'm off limits."  
Medic was tempted, just to see what might happen, for science. However, he realized that he had to know what was in it before he could learn anything. "Vell.. Oh, I'll zhink about it. Perhaps tomorrow, after I've finished ze operation at hand, and have analyzed its contents, hmm?" Scout frowned. "That's way too long; anything to do now, genius?" Medic rolled his eyes. "Go set a fire in the backyard, bring Pyro." Scout cocked an eyebrow."What'll I set on fire, your books?"  
Medic bent down and continued carefully taking apart the base of the brain, ignoring Scout. Well, Scout killed some time with that. Time for Egghead #2. "Hey Engie, heard you were doing somethin' with Medic, that right?" Scout knew Engie would keep talking for a little while, giving him time to dick around in his office corner. Engie started explaining.

"Yes, indeed I am! See, normally, a brain, kinda functions the same way as a hard drive- filled with data, and when it's full, old 'n useless data gets erased. Then, if two computers are compatible, sometimes, you can even switch their hard drives right around! Now, I can't exactly take out two brains and switch 'em around- though maybe Medic could- I, on the other hand, need a middle man, a flash drive sorta deal, that would push data in between two brains,,effectively switching them! There would even be the benefit that no surgery would even be required, just a weird-lookin' helmet! Now, of course, this kinda power wasn't meant to be handled for fun. We make things like this to see if it's possible, if science, at this stage can pull it off. Actually usin the darn thing might even on its own be goin' a little too far, heh!"

Scout ignored all of it, choosing instead to laugh to himself about the weird helmet Engie had manufactured. It was attached to a wire, and there was another like it sitting nearby. Engie kept talking about the wonders of modern electronics, partly because he loved it himself, and partly hoping it would drive Scout away.

"The only thing that has as much storage as a human brain, is a human brain. That's where Medic comes in!" Engie talked on and on about the project, but Scout was not leaving. "Hey, what's this?" Scout asked, fiddling with a device from the labeled "Forbidden" box under his desk. "Hey, don't get into those!" Engie couldn't stand demolishing his inventions, so he merely hid them away in that box if he was satisfied with their utility, but didn't want to see them used. Scout looked at the device closely. "It's so tiny! I hope this is some sorta Men in Black situation, with the 'little gun big explosion' thing going on."

Engie snatched it out of his hands, and identified it as the Lovebug. It would make one person love another, as much as they were capable of doing so; it didn't work on psychopaths. As a result, in the base, it was one of the less harmful of the machines in its box. Engineer grabbed it from Scout's hand, checked to see whether the safety was still on, and put it back in the box.  
Engineer had something of a romance with emotion-sculpting, mind-changing machines, and loved seeing that they worked, but every time he finished one, he didn't want to see it do its work. It was about the theory, and the adavancement, not the reality. For reality, well, he had a pretty solid background in ballistics and robotics engineering.  
Scout hatched a plan then and there, and went off to leave the two eggheads alone.

He went outside, set a dead tree on fire, told Pyro about it, getting him out of the base, and picked around his concrete-walled, metal-furnished room.  
Scout found a bottle of lighter fluid and a spare suit in the closet, a chewed-up american flag in the bedside table drawer, a cute purse near the corner opposite the bed, and a personal weapon rack in a standing cupboard, holding all manner of axes, flare guns, flamethrowers, and, to Scout's confusion, a mailbox and a rake.  
By the time he was done, the clock read 11:00, and so Medic would have gone to bed. He wasn't sure about Engie, so he peeked at the door's circular window.  
Engie affixed a glass dome over a brain suspended in a jar, frayed stem connected to wires everywhere. From the brain display were wired the same two helmets Scout had been laughing at earlier.  
Engie pushed the helmets, and attached brain-unit, together in a bunch, looked satisfied with his work, and started towards the lab doors. Scout hid in the nearest bathroom, and pretended to use it as Engie went by.

Once he'd left, Scout snuck into the lab, and pulled out the box beneath the desk. He emptied the box into his bag, shut the box again, and left. In the bathroom, he examined the little machines, each one with some projectile, or laser, or cattle brand-style tip. He noticed that each one was labeled in Engie's print, apparently done with a soldering iron. Names like "Lovebug", a very small gun clad in polished chrome and red highlights, and the "Fearmonger", which looked like a battery-powered cattle brand from hell.  
Scout had to find a manual, or else start testing things. He went back to the lab and looked in several drawers, every one he could find, but he couldn't find anything with so much as a picture to explain anything. Scout shrugged, and found that there was actually a binder detailing their functions that he dumped in his bag without knowing.  
Scout chuckled, and threw its cover open, and checked out the table of contents. He had only read the labels before with some difficulty, and if deciphering this wasn't going to take forever, it would need to be illustrated. To save time, he only tried to get reading the pages that interested him. Specifically, the pair of helmets, and their attached brain.  
Scout flipped through the book, and found a sketch of the device in question, highlighting its features, describing what it does and how it does it. After almost thirty minutes of determined reading, he figured out that it would switch the bodies of two people.  
He decided, you know who wouldn't be able to ruin his reputation and good looks from his body? Pyro. Pyro probably couldn't speak, so he decided to sneak towards Pyro's bunk, just below his own, placemthe helmet on Pyro's head, climb into the bed, and place the helmet on his head.

Scout woke up in Pyro's body, after only about 30 seconds. Scout saw his own body sleeping in the bed, where he left it, and took the machine back, put all the machines back where he found them, and started messing around with his new body.  
The first thing he noticed when he payed attention to it was the fact that he could not only the colors of the base, he could see the coldness of the windows, the warm bodies of the mercs in their beds and the oddly low temperature of his own new body. It was interesting, like a new world where "cold" and "hot" were colors, just as much as "red" and "blue".  
After that, he saw how strong Pyro was, and how limber he was despite it. It seemed like the only thing keeping him slowed down was his suit. Scout poked around his mouth with his startlingly long tongue, and found that he could easily stick the tongue anywhere he wanted, just moving the inside of his mouth around. He stuck it straight up, through the very strangely textured roof of his mouth, and accidentally licked his eyeball. "What the hell?" Scout muffled through Pyro's mouth. He realized that nothing he said would be listened to, which meant absolute freedom of speech for Scout.  
He tried opening his mouth, but, unsurprisingly, the suit's mask made that very hard to beyond how much he needed to open his mouth to speak. Not that that mattered, as not a word he said could be understood. Scout had a couple of questions for Pyro's anatomy, and was ready to answer them himself. Scout shut himself into the bathroom, and wasn't sure whether to reveal Pyro's face or his gender first. He placed his hand over a convenient bathroom zipper, and placed a hand on his mask. He mentally counted to three, and revealed it all.  
He saw dozens, no, hundreds, of wriggling, tiny things, each with its own, minute, body temperature. He stared, but wasn't disgusted at all. He wasn't sure where he had seen this before, but it seemed like he was already used to this sight. Maybe from a weird dream, or more likely, Pyro's body was just used to its own shape. He put a gloved finger into his lower worm hole, and liked the way it felt. It didn't feel very different from stroking his cock himself, and he decided that Pyro was probably a chick. He zipped up the hole, and decided to go to sleep in Pyro's bunk.

The next day, Scout woke up again in Pyro's body, feeling better than he had before. Pyro had already gotten out of bed in his body, and Scout saw his body running laps around the base. Pyro liked his body, too, it looked like. Scout walked outside to meet himself. He didn't have to wait long, as he was completing laps almost once a minute. Scout waved. Pyro laughed, and asked, "Hey, did you do this? I'm assuming you're Scout, in my body, right?'" Scout nodded and laughed in Pyro's body. "Well, I'm glad it wasn't someone with a less fun body. Also, you have a really nice butt."  
Pyro giggled, and sprinted off around the corner before Scout was done enjoying the compliment. That went pretty nice, he thought. But Scout had to ask him some questions, and realized he'd have to wait for himself to come around again. He was impatient, and decided to run around the base in the other direction. He saw himself blaze around a corner.  
Slow down, Scout thought, and turned to run the same direction as Pyro. He found he was able to catch up, and run alongside. He wasn't sure why he could, after all, he was running at the same speed he had been before. He realized he couldn't actually ask any questions, being this muffled, so he stopped running entirely.  
Pyro sped up again, and went racing around the corner while Scout was left to ponder Pyro's mysteries. He liked being strong, but hated being slow. Scout decided to go to the bathroom, and see what would happen if he took the rest of the suit off. He waited for Demo to finally get out, suspected him of drinking in the bathroom, too, and went in.  
He locked the door, took off the mask, unzipped the entire suit, and marvelled as he looked over Pyro's body. It was slimy from the worms that seemed to be part of him, and he found that underneath, he was a being with bony, wood-like hands and hooves, an emanciated, nearly skeletal figure clothed in leeches or worms or something, a long, wooden-looking member of over 10 inches (and pretty wide, too), and a complete lack of anything but leeches in his head. Scout didn't know why he could see.  
Scout still spoke muffled, but this time, it sounded as if he were drowning as he tried to speak. Scout had no clue what gender Pyro was anymore, and chose to stop asking that question entirely, if it wasn't both. Every time Scout placed a finger in his crotch, or touched his steadily growing member, he wanted to do it more. He took the long cock out of its cool, writhing mass, and gave it an experimental stroke. He immediately wanted more.

Being out of the suit was very freeing, he found, and he found out that he could force his cock down his own throat. Scout got down on the floor, curled up in a ball, and used his readily adaptable leeches to suck his own dick.  
He pulled up two masses of leeches on his chest, narrowing his waist considerably, and gave himself a mucus-lubricated titjob. He came on his own face, and licked it up with his long, very long tongue. He stuck it out to its maximum length, cum still on it, and saw , and found that he'd be able to give himself a tonguejob standing up.  
He got up, and found his form looked much more feminine this way, and he pulled some more leeches around until he had a perfectly shaped figure, boobs not too large for the body, butt not too big for the waist, and put the suit back on.  
He wondered if he would be able to seduce anyone without speaking. It'd be easier with this body, since nobody expected him to speak, and usually, it was his big mouth that ruined it. It's not gay if you're Pyro, Scout reasoned. It then occurred to him that his sex drive was not normally this intense. Pyro liked fucking a lot, Scout mused to himself.  
He squished the leeches to their normal positions, and got out. He decided to try for Medic, since Medic had always shown interest in Pyro, even if he said it was a 'scientific curiosity'.

Medic looked down his little booklet of scheduled appointments, and sighed. Pyro, again. These ones never went well, Pyro would always refuse to remove any part of the suit, forced Medic to check his pulse with the insulated suit on (it sounded like running water), and he could never see Pyro's eyes of ears for those parts of the examination. Still, he held hope that he would someday see what was underneath that suit. The MRIs never made sense, but he had a skeletal structure. Medic didn't know that Pyro put human bones in his boots to fool the X-ray, and Medic thought he just had a strange heel.  
Medic strolled out of the lab, and found Pyro as he exited the bathroom. "Ah, here you are. It's time for your examination, come zhis vay." Scout had scored the jackpot. If he could find ways to demonstrate flirting, he could have a chance.  
Scout followed Medic to the lab, got onto the checkup seat as told, and waited politely for instruction that he could take sexually. "Alright, vill you show me anyzhing zhis time?" Scout reached out his hand, and placed it in Medic's, to his comfusion, tightened Medic's grip on it, and slid his bony, callous right hand out of the glove. Scout watched Medic's face go from confusion to delight as Medic examined the knobby, wooded hand. "Does zhat mean.. Are you finally going through vhis zhe checkup!?"

Scout had never seen Medic happier, but realized that Engie couldn't be around for this part. Scout realeased a worried sound, and looked at Engie on his computer, hiding his hand away from Engie. Medic laughed. "Ah, yes. Doctor-patient confidentiality, of course." Medic got up, and informed Engie that he needed to leave for several minutes. Engie looked over towards Pyro, shrugged, and left.  
Medic came back giddy. "Alright, what part of you do you vant me to see next?" Scout thought for a moment, and placed Medic's hand onto his collar. He guided it down his shirt, and, as if trying to mentally communicate with the mad doctor, told him mentally to tug it off.  
Medic caught the hint, and pulled the mask up, unveiling an abundance of long, black leeches. He was caught in a mixture of some revulsion, and absolute wonder. He'd spent enough time with rotting, maggot-infested bodies while trying to incinerate them all that they did not, on their own, disgust him very much at all, but a headless creature with a mask full of leeches was certainly different.  
"Vhere is your brain? How curious!" Medic studied his neck closely, and tried removing a leech. "Does zhat hurt?" Scout shook his head. Medic tried pinching the leech, but still drew no reaction. He reached in, and pinched a leech that was still in him. Scout made a sound of complaint. "Interesting.. Zhey don't even hurt unless still attached, hmm?" Scout thought, and nodded. He was getting pretty horny here, though, and decided to get Medic to explore Pyro's body in a different way.  
Scout took the ex-doctor's hand, and spread his legs open wide. He placed the hand on his crotch, and Medic unzipped it, like Scout wanted him to. Medic gasped, and quickly zipped it up again. "Oh! So sorry, I don't know vhy I did zhat, I really didn't mean to, aah, does zhat count as sexual harrassment?" Scout laughed, and put his hand back, this time unzipping it himself. "Vell, I suppose I could do an exam zhere.. Are you sure it's okay?" Medic was doing a bad job of hiding his excitement.  
Scout spread Pyro's legs wider, and hummed an invitation. Medic spread it open wide, and looked inside. "Oh, leeches everyvhere.. Say, do you feel pleasure vhis zhat hole?" Scout gave him a "Mmm-hmm," giving Medic the right idea.  
Medic grinned, and tried putting in his finger. Scout moaned out of Pyro's unmasked neck, encouraging Medic further. Come on, dummy, fuck me, Scout thought, and Medic, almost as if in response, unzipped his pants, and shoved his cock into Pyro's unzipped hole. "Does zhat feel good, Pyro?" Medic asked, this time in a more suggestive tone. "Nngh.. Murhh," the response came. Medic knew what it meant.  
He got onto the seat, and pulled Pyro's body onto his long rod. "So I guess you are a girl, hmm?" Medic asked, raising one eyebrow with a smile. Scout laughed, and pulled out his magnificent, 13 inch wood. "Heheh, so you're a hermaphrodite, zhen! Interesting! And it's so big, too…"  
Scout wanted Medic to suck his dick, so Medic got down and sucked away. Scout moaned again, and let Medic work his way up and down the shaft, licking up the leech mucus, and leaving behind his saliva. Medic couldn't stop, even if he wanted to. He felt something else take control over him, and force his head down the long shaft.  
He bent over to fit the dick into his throat, and got dizzy as his gag reflex triggered, causing his throat to spasm on the wooded rod. Medic couldn't pull himself off the cock. He breathed over the cock, and got one last breath into his body before Scout came in his throat.  
Medic drank it, and realized that it was making his dick grow harder. "How do you make me do zhat? I know I vasn't doing it, so you vere, right?"

Scout only then realized that he had that ability to order people to do was he said, without ever speaking. Scout decided to lie back, and let Medic do the work. Scout's huge dick pointed straight up in the air, a rock-hard pillar acting as a reminder of what Medic couldn't disobey.  
Medic couldn't keep himself from doing Scout's will, so he asked. "Pyro, may I do somezhing in ze kitchen? I vill be back very fast.."  
Scout allowed it. However, Medic then took off all his clothes but his medical overcoat, tailcoat being the only thing that concealed his ass. Medic gasped. "You von't force me out into zhe kitchen like zhis, vill you?" He walked towards the door. "Oh, you're kinky.." Medic strode out into the kitchen, but to his surprise, nobody paid him any mind. Demo kept resting on the couch, Heavy kept polishing his minigun, Spy even said hello.

Scout came into the kitchen, and lifted up Medic's tailcoat. He put his head underneath it, and snaked his tongue in while Medic cooked. He took the rest of his neck, and covered Medic's dick in it. Just then, a knock on the door and Ms. Pauling entered. "Hey guys, I've got important news.."  
Medic tried to keep himself from moaning as his anus was penetrated by Pyro's prehensile tongue. Ms. Pauling looked at him. "Hey Medic, your face is a little flush, you alright?" Medic bit his tongue. "Yes, just fine.." Medic trailed off as Scout tongued his asshole.  
Suddenly, Scout shot all of his tongue into Medic's butt, and sucked him down to the base, still seated on his knees under Medic's legs, drawing a sharp gasp out of Medic. He breathed heavily, sweating as he tried to empty several powder packets into some heated water. The water immediately grew thick, and Medic poured it, trembling, into a vase, coating its insides in the soft, gelatinous pseudo-rubber.

When Ms. Pauling entered, Scout got an idea. Ms. Pauling strolled into the kitchen, lifted her skirt, and reached into her panties, rubbing herself in the kitchen. Still, none of the other members of the base noticed anything out of the ordinary.  
With some effort and rolling about, Medic turned around and got into a 69 position under Scout, and placed his prepared vase around Pyro's long dick.  
He had been close to cumming for what seemed like forever, but Scout didn't want to let Medic cum until he did. Medic brough the vase up and down Pyro's dick, and every time Pyro moaned, he pulled on Medic's dick a little, bringing him closer to climax. Scout came, filling the vase to its brim with yellow, viscous syrup.  
Medic could see white ribbons and black specks throughout the sweet smelling aphrodisiac. Medic placed the vase aside, stuggling not to let it spill as he came in Pyro's neck.

Scout found that Medic's cum was delectable, and wasted none of it as his tongue left Medic's ass. Medic was done, but Scout wouldn't let it be the end. He mentally ordered Medic not to stop cumming. Abruptly, Medic started spewing more cum than he had ever before in his life. Medic groaned, his balls already ached, but Pyro's body kept drinking it out of his dick like it was water. Medic sat behind Pyro's neck, cumming more than any healthy man would, no end in sight.

Ms. Pauling pulled her panties down to her knees, took Pyro's dick, and guided it into her vagina. She sat down, but screamed in pain, so Scout told her not to feel the pain. She started moving, Pyro's dick spilling blood from her cunt, and moved up and down. Medic drank some of the vase's contents, the already familiar taste filling his mouth, and Medic could taste it again every time he breathed out.  
Cumming continuously, Medic felt like he was going insane. Ecstasy rocked his body in waves, and he couldn't feel anything else. He started to drink more of the syrup, feelings sick from it, while at the same time not wanting to go without it.

Ms. Pauling moved faster up and down the erect pillar of wood, still bleeding. Scout smelled the blood, and lapped it up out of her vagina with his snakelike tongue, while continuing to drink Medic's cum through his neck. The blood and cum both tasted good, perhaps hinting at the nature of creature the Pyro was.

Scout came again inside of Ms. Pauling, and let Medic stop cumming. When Ms. Pauling got off, she gave Scout a cleanup blowjob and continued issuing her announcement to the rest of the team. Medic sighed.  
"Zhat vas.. damn, I really don't know vezher zhat vas amazing, or horrifying. Perhaps both." Scout ushered Medic to the lab, and released the not-noticing compulsion he had placed on the entire team.  
He made Medic heal Ms. Pauling, who forgot that it ever happened, and left Medic wanting nothing more than another time like that to happen again.

Pyro came in with Scout's body, and grinned. "I knew this would happen," it said, laughing. Pyro left the lab, and waited to get its body back the same way it was taken.  
Scout, on the other hand, realized that his monstrous libido had caused him to become an entirely different person, and, liking himself the way he was, decided he would just have his body back.

When the Engineer left his lab, they met next to his desk. "Are we going to do this the easy way?" Scout's body asked in a peculiar tone, echoing through the lab. Pyro's body shrugged, and nodded.  
"Oh." Pyro almost looked dissappointed, like it wanted to play the game of keep-away that could have been. Scout put on the helmet, waited for Pyro to put it on, and pulled the switch.

When they were done, Pyro, in its own body, forced them all to forget the events of the entire day, and things were, again, perfectly normal, just as Pyro wanted it. In the end, nearly all the things within his reach were the way he wanted them, but he chose not to change much. After all, he loved bloodshed, and would use the members of his team as he was fit.  
And since they forgot afterwards, it wasn't like anyone would notice.

Anyone, save for the creature itself, and of course, the Administrator through her many electric eyes about the bases.


	4. Sweetie Pyro (Pyro x Scout)

A/N: This is totally safe, and has kisses. That is all. Totally consensual, non-sexual, Pyro x Scout. Enjoy.

It was the beginning of a new day, and Pyro pulled on a zipped up turtleneck to match its suit, with an attached skirt-like part to go down the Pyro's thighs. The collar covered its breathing tube, but Pyro didn't mind; that didn't impede it in any way, plus, it was pretty cute.

Pyro strolled out of the bunk rooms and started cooking up two breakfasts. It sat at the table, with its two plates of strawberry pancakes, and pushed one of the plates to the other side of the table as Scout walked by. Scout, with ever the sweet tooth, piped up excitedly. "Is it for me?" Scout asked. Pyro nodded. "Hey, cool, thanks!" Scout pulled out the seat and dug in. Pyro somehow ate its own serving without removing the mask, or even the tall collar. When he was finished, Scout sighed loudly, and stetched out. "Wow, that was actually pretty good. Why don'tcha cook more? Hell of a lot better than whatever else we're eatin'." Pyro only laughed quietly, and rested its chin on its gloved hands.

After a filling breakfast, Scout went out for a morning run, to keep himself sharp. He would run around the back of the base, count a lap, and see how many laps he could do before hitting the wall, and then seeing how many he could do afterwards. It usually ended up being around 15 miles of running in all, taking him just under an hour. When he got back, there was Pyro, with a refrigerated bottle of water, which Scout accepted quickly.

When Scout went to the couches to take the remote from whoever had it, to his surprise, Pyro simply handed it to him. Watching the TV, he had a moment to think about what had happened in his day so far. He got a pancake breakfast, a bottle of cold water after his run, and the remote had just been handed to him. Normally, he would go without these things, or have to get them himself. Scout was having a good day. But when he had a good day, there was always a reason for it. Whether it came down to plain, dumb luck, or to a calculated attempt to raise his confidence on the part of some schemer, there was always a reason. And given that he was currently watching a chef elimination show on the television, Scout figured he could only go up.

First he thought about the pancake breakfast. Pyro had made it, and it was really good, and Scout would eat it again in a heartbeat. Then, after his run, Pyro gave him a bottle of water. Then, Pyro gave him the remote. Scout thought hard. As far as he could tell, there was no connection between water, pancakes, and remote controls, so it had to be something else.

Finally, Scout thought of something. He wasn't good at thinking, but Medic and Engie were total eggheads. They'd figure it out lickity-split, and then Scout would just have to make them translate whatever they said to normal person English. Scout, proud of his brain, went over to the lab. Conveniently, Engineer and Medic were in the same lab, because Engie said the medical bay was the only place in the base quiet enough to work from.

Once in the lab, Scout strolled over to Medic. "'Ey, doc." Medic sighed and rolled his eyes. "Vhat could you possibly vant now, Scout?" Scout leaned on a nearby countertop. "Oh, nothin' much. Listen, you gotta help me figure this out."  
Medic put on a skeptical expression. "Scout, if zhis is zhe same question you asked me yesteday.."  
Scout smirked confidently. "Pshh, nah, I just gotta know this. So earlier today, Pyro made me pancakes, right?"  
Medic was somewhat taken aback. "I don't know, did he?  
Scout nodded. "Yeah, he did, but then later, Pyro gave me a bottle of water."  
Medic was honestly confused. "Vhat does zhat have to do vhis anything?"  
Scout wasn't finished. "Wait, but then later, he gave me the remote. So here's the question, doc: what do they have in common? I can't think of anything, but you're a super egghead, so I thought you'd figure it out, right?"

Medic's eyes narrowed in a combination of astonishment and skepticality, before he shrugged, and gave the most obvious answer he never would've expected. "It sounds like it has taken a liking to you.. It didn't give those things to anyvone else, as far as I know, so in Pyro's eyes, you must be some sort of special case, ja?" Scout's eyes widened. "I knew you'd do it, this explains everything! But wait, do you think it likes me, or that it 'like' likes me?" Medic shrugged again. "I don't know, vhy don't you ask it?" he suggested sarcastically. Scout nodded slowly, thinking aloud. "Well, since it can definitely nod yes or no.. Yeah, thanks doc, seeya!" Scout was out of the door before Medic replied.

Steeling himself for what may or may not be coming, Scout approached Pyro. "Hey, Pyro, you've been pretty nice to me lately, and I guess I'm getting more attention than the rest of the team.." Pyro giggled, and nodded. Scout continued. "And I was wonderin', well, do you like me, like as a friend?" Pyro shifted its hips and head to one side, indicating the same way a raised eyebrow might. Scout opened his mouth a little, unsure what to think, and asked another. "So.. that means you 'like' like me, huh?" Pyro giggled and nodded emphatically.

Scout was entirely dazed. Within the past half a day, Pyro had apparently decided Scout was going to be its. Scout didn't mind the attention; anyone with his athletic prowess and good looks would get some attention, somewhere. However, Scout wasn't sure if he was down to hook up with something whose gender couldn't even be discerned.  
Pyro was very excited. It had made clear to the world that Scout was its sweetie, and nothing would seperate them for long, if Scout could just come along with it.

BLU Team was now on it next assignment, driving a bomb up a Badlands cliff by a spiralling upward rail. It beat anybody on the team as to why this particular bluff had to get bombed so bad, but that's what they were paid for, so few people complained. Naturally, being the fastest, and best at pushing carts, Scout was the most important member of the team on most assignments, and made sure Medic knew it. After a lot of tactical pushing and retreating, BLU Team got the job done, because they had the better Scout.

Once back in the base, Scout was chatting excitedly about how cool he was in that last battle, and didn't mind that Pyro was the only one listening. Pyro had gotten itself on the one cheap computer in the base, whose only Wi-Fi came from Engie's own towers, and hurriedly beckoned Scout over. Scout laid eyes upon the page Pyro had pulled up, a website for a nearby fair, and got its point across with tight fists and little jumps.

Before Scout knew it, he was driving Spy's car, unlicensed, with Pyro in the shotgun seat, turtleneck pulled up, holding a printed map of their directions. Scout had a rough idea of how to drive, just ignoring stuff like turn signals, several road signs, and anything to do with stick shifts. They parked further away from the fair, out on the grass, and walked a hundred yards before using some money stolen from their spy for admission.

Pyro's eyes lit up in wonder. In the moment, Pyro was a giggling dervish, going everywhere and seeing everything, where Scout was more a leaf caught and tossed about in the storm. Pyro convinced Scout to drop some money on candy apples, and then accidently dropped said candy apple off the side of a coaster, pouted about it for two minutes, and continued its assault on Scout's attention span.

"Slow down!" Scout called, for perhaps the first time in his life, but for how fast he was, he couldn't quite keep his eye on Pyro in the crowd. Then, Pyro saw it. An enormous, blue plushie gorilla. The only thing somebody would have to do for it was to throw 8 darts and pop 5 balloons. Seemed easy enough, Scout thought. Over the next several minutes, he paid just under 15 dollars retrying the game, but Pyro did get that plush gorilla by the end, even if they did it with almost a hundred dollars of Spy's money. On the bright side, if he was as rich as he looked, said, and acted, he would hardly notice.

Scout jogged out to their car while Pyro flipped a coin to see which bathroom to use, and put the plush gorilla in the back seat so Pyro didn't lose it like the candy apple. They met up again outside of the women's bathroom Pyro had decided to use, and found that the sky's colors were turning to shades of magenta and orange at the edges. The tall ferris wheel, which already stood out for miles, now looked like a beacon of rotating lights under the sky, captivating Pyro immediately, even from the awkward viewing angle. Pyro pulled Scout along that way, beckoning him all the way.

As they waited in the line, Pyro muffled excitedly about kinda everything, and upon getting into one of the cars, eagerly patted the adjacent seat for Scout to stay in. Scout was used to going high, as he had been using his own double-jump technique for years, and then weird Mann Co. weapons like the Soda Popper, the Winger, and the Atomizer. One time, he even tried them together, taking himself to new heights, literally.  
Pyro, however, was not so mobile a soul, and as they went up, Pyro quickly realized it had never been so high before. Even if the cliffs off the edge of the Upward location were higher, they certainly didn't move around, or tilt back as one shifted their weight. Pyro looked over the edge nervously, and gasped. They were even higher than it had known. Scout made a wheezing sort of sound, causing Pyro to look over, and realized it had been squeezing Scout's hand tighter and tighter the whole time. Scout looked at Pyro squeezed back, giving it reassurance as they rode the seat over the topof the curve.

The ferris wheel stopped. Pyro made a nervous sound, but Scout reassured the nervous arsonist. "It's fine Pyro, it stopped for a reason; It'll give us this nice view, see?"  
Pyro forgot its fears for a moment, and looked at the sky. It was certainly very beautiful, somewhat reminiscent of the fires which Pyro was far more experienced with.  
Pyro found this thought comforting, and relaxed its grip on Scout's hand for a moment. Scout looked at Pyro closely. He hadn't seen its face, but so far, Pyro was a lovely companion, and certainly lovely enough for the kiss Scout placed on Pyro's snoot. Pyro giggled, and moved its own hand from Scout's to around his shoulders, hugging him as the ferris wheel set them slowly downwards.

When they got off, Pyro had settled down, and was content to hold Scout's hand as they went back to the car. Scout gave Pyro another kiss on the forehead, and they drove home to the base.

When they arrived, Pyro was sleeping in the car. Scout didn't want to wake the tired thing, but couldn't carry it to either his bunk or its, since they were both top bunks.  
In the end, Scout decided to set its seat back, set his own back too, and they both slept the night away, side by side, in Spy's black luxury two-seater.


End file.
